Your mom

Like.

Sometimes I think Facebook is a valley girl.
Eric: "Hey Facebook, when did I leave this comment?"
Facebook: "Like, two minutes ago."

Kryptonite

Lois: I love you Clark.
Superman: I love you too Lois. You're my kryptnite.
Lois: That's really sweet, but please let me out of this lead box.

Pole pruner

It's really long.

Caulk

Insert cock joke here.
(That's what she said.)

Nice bike Luc

Nothing.

Made you look.