Ikea slaves

If the prisons the IKEA slaves were made by IKEA then they would be easy to break out of.

Flat tire

...and waiting at the tire store.

iVoted

Apple makes great voting machines.

Rustic

I like how rustic is a positive way of saying I did a poor job.

Hole

I dug it myself.

Unsolicited advice cookie

Don't tell me what to do fortune cookie!

Washcloth art