Go Chargers!

Didn't think it through: Umbrella Cane

Because when it rains, cane users rather stay dry than stay on their feet.
Get a fucking raincoat.

Silent word

If you take the second S from brass, the i from pail, the second l from tall, the e from pie, the n from column, and the t from depot it would spell silent but you wouldn't hear it.

3D printer

I'm going to 3d print the unreleased portion of the Mayan calendar. Its carved in stone, with kittens on it.

Not a million dollars...

I don't get out of bed for less.

Ear popping

When your ears pop when you go up a mountain, I think you should smell little ear wax farts.

Studfinder

No stud found.

Fool me once, shame on you...

Fool me twice... We don't get fooled again. Don't get fooled again. No no!

Cock

There is more than one way to skin a...

couch.

Fortune Cookie Typo

Mandy admires me.